How do you kill a blonde? Tell her she can breath underwater.

An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

A horse walks into a bar Barman: Why the long face? Horse: just had a stroke

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

Why's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding a golden ticket

What do you get for the man that has everything already? Another one.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Doesn't matter. He was hit by a semi truck.

Why didnt the cannibal like the taste of the comedian? because the comedian smelled very bad and the cannibal forgot to add salt.

Q: What did the homless man get for chritsmas? A: Frostbite

There was a fat man crying. I just told him the local Mc D's was arson attacked.

Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red... That depends in how hard you throw them.

Hitler, Mussilini, And Hideki Tojo Walk In To A Bar Mitzvah, Everyone Was Brutally Murdered & No One Survived.

What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

You know what's lame? A person who can't walk.

A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

Whats an Anit-joke?? A joke that possesses the kind of humor based on the surprise factor of absence of an expected joke or of a punch line in a narration which is set up as a joke.

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

Roses are black, violets are black. I'm Hellen Keller.

what's Mexicans favourite sport? Cross country.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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