Roses are red, Violets are too. You're bleeding out, I stabbed you.

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Why was the man so fat? Because he is in a wheel chair and can't exercise.

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How do a jew, an African, and u white man stop a train? They pull the breaks

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what is Stephen Hawking's condom brand called? Anti-Virus

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Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

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Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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Q:what did the Aardvark say to the other Aardvark. A: nothing because Aardvark do not have the mental capacity to carry out basic conversations

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The t rex said to the textbook ............. Im not going to read you

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse, confused, looks at the bartender with a bewildered look, neighs loudly, and runs out of the bar knocking over a few tables and chares.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? A Ferrari was never alive.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Banana soup, Gorilla poop

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"What would Jesus do?" "Form a religion, get nailed to a cross, and become a martyr to millions."

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You all have Aids

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't cross it. He was pushed.

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if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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Hi my name is Lisa Hi Lisa my name is Karen. Nice to meet Karen Likewise...

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

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A young black man walks into a KFC. He takes a quick stop in the bathroom and continues on the road to his ivy league college.

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How did I do in the running events? Not that good, I'm a paraplegic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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