Your momma so fat when she went to the beach she was to self concious and left her shirt on.

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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Colon Right Parentheses For all of the confused people out there that's :)

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Q: Why did the fork cross the balloon? A: Apples

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why didn't santa deliver any presents this christmas? Because he isn't real

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Neither does the chicken. (you're supposed to laugh...)

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What's black, white, and red all over? A dead panda.

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A rabbai , a mexican , and a ginger are In a car going over a cliff. Which one dies? Who cares?

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what did batman say to robyn before he got in the car?... "get in the car"

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was drunk.

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why did the boy drop his icecream?? he got hit by a bus

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What does the ice cream man say to the kids? Hey kids want some ice cream?

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Why was the homeless man begging for money? Because he needed money to buy liquer for his severe alcohol addiction that was slowly destroying his liver.

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Don't make my new Nazi friend upset, or he'll be Fuhrerious

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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How do you blindfold an Asian person? Take a price of cloth and put it over his eyes

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Naturally I meant to say "Its no fun even when they DO scream in pain" below... What do you think I got? Pleasure? Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: Of course I got pleasure! ;) But I wont share with you!

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Why did Captain Obvious crossed the road? Because that's the name of the chicken

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whats bad about being black and jewish they have to sit in the back of the oven

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Person1: Have you heard about the girraffe who doesn't eat Georgia peaches? Person2: yes. Person1: Oh, never mind then.

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A racist man walks into an all black church. He has no problem with the people there as he is a black man who hates caucasion people.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Fed-Ex, here's your new brother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops