One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

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An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? like most animals that wander onto the road, it was completely unaware that the road can be very dangerous. It didn't go onto the road on purpose, it simply treated the road as if it was just like the rest of the ground.

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Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

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Why was Johnny so mad at his father? Because his father had a constant drinking problem and was very abusive.

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I dig, you dig, we dig, they dig, he digs, she digs, everybody digs. Guys, it's not a very profound poem, but it's deep.

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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What do gay kittens eat? Cat food. Friskies and Fancy Feast are both popular brands.

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what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

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roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You murder his family.

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How do Mexicans like their eggs? It's a matter of personal opinion, of course.

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womens rights

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Knock Knock Who's there? You know you really should have a safer way of finding out who is really on the other side. Now a days it's just not safe to ask, "who's there". I mean it could have been, Milkman, Plummer, or worst a Land Shark!

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Do you know what God said to Hitler as he approached the gate of heaven? ??????????????????

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Q: what comes after 69? A: 70

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why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

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A Jew and a Muslim are playing golf. Just not together.

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[INSERT ANTIJOKE HERE]

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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