What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

What's the only think duct tape can't fix? Your parents divorce.

What is square and grey? A grey square.

what do you call a cat that looks like a lion 7

whats worse than killing someone? finding out your mom is your dad

If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

This is a haiku. Not a very good haiku, But still a haiku.

Why did Bob fall over? He was impaled by a narwhal. -BG

A horse walks into a barn.. The farmer says "why the long face?",This frightens the horse ultimately leads to the farmer getting kicked in the teeth

HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

Once upon a time, a duck named Jim went to work, he went up to the steps to his new job and and he was paid all day to sit in a hot tub. Little did he know it was a boiling pot and he was served at Christmas dinner

Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? He likes bungie jumping, and wanted to cheer himself up by doing one of his favorite hobbies

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

Okay I have knock knock joke but u have to start it. Okay Knock knock Who's there (akward silence)

What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The three of them discuss theology for quite some time and then begin approach various patrons with invites to attend their respective Sunday services.

Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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