What do you call a Jew A Jew

Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

How do you annoy a farmer? Shoot his wife.

A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

they told me not to write here but i did

how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

A young farmers cow died in an oil burning, The farmer then said to his son; you get the milk ill get the shovel

Your momma is so black that she probably has ancestors indigenous to Africa.

Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

how many scrubbers does it take to change a light bulb ? 2 , 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell piss

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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