How do you wake up Lady GaGa? Poke her Face.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Question: So, what do you get if you put a live dog, a dead cat, some sugarcubes, and your sisters panties (HORMONES OKAY? EVERYBODY KNOWS HORMONES EQUALS SPICE! Or something anyways...) In a blender until its all red and squishy? The hell I know, but put some Redbull in it, and its fucking delicious!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the girl crying? She got shot in the penis

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is the redneck crying? They died of diabeetus.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did you get for your birthday? I got older

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I had a quad when I was in high school, she was pretty but it was hard to get her out of the wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why wasn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She didnt get her driver license...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q.How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb A.Babies are to young to screw in lightbulbs

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you get a tissue to dance. You don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

roses are red violet are blue what are you gonna do when chuck norris find you

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the black guy say in the phone? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why do depressed people like sharp knives? Cause there good for cutting Salad

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did I the granda fall out of her wheel chair?. She fell down the steps

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A young boy trips and severly cuts his knee while running down his neighborhood street. He is promptly brought to the hospital to avoid receiving any serious infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why doesn't Charlie Sheen take showers? Because he spends too much time on MySpace.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me Fool me 3 times, oh now you're just being a jerk

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops