What did Sally get for Christmas? Who's Sally?

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A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

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What did the little girl say after her dad hit her? Nothing. She was a month old and died instantly.

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what do kids take their lunch in to school. that depends if they buy lunch at school... otherwise they bring it in a lunchbox...

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What did the doctor say to the lawyer? Nothing. They weren't even together. He was in the hospital saving people and the lawyer was in his office working on a case.

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Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

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Why don't lesbians use dildoes? Because they look just like a big penises.

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The early bird gets the worm. The rest of them die of starvation.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

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What do you call two Japanese men digging through rubble? Worried family members of missing relatives due to the recent devastating tragedy in the island nation of Japan.

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Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

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What has many legs, but can't walk? A dead spider.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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What do you can a preschool on fire? A very dangerouse situation

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What do you call a blonde doctor? Doctor

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Why are Black Guys Black? Migration and adaptation to the harsh heat of the southern Sahara Desert. DUH.

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roses are brown violets are brown who shit on my garden?

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Whats the opposite of purple? Your adopted

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Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

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What the difference between a mexican family and a bench? The bench can support the family

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If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

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Q: Why was the cook put in jail. A: He has killed 2 people and robbed several stores

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Shea's sty....

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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