What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Very, very hungry.

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

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Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

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Q: Why did the little girl scream? A: She didn't have a rape whistle.

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what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

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i have to tell you a knock knock joke. but you have have to start it..

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

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Nicki Minaj walks into a bar... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting owl Interrupting owl- HOOOOOOOOOOOO

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A man walks into a bar and approaches a man "Ask me if I'm a tree." "Fine.Are you a tree?" "No."

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Here's a joke The Holocaust.

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Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

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What does a horse and a donkey have in common? They are both very different from trees

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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what do you call a mexican in a coffee shop? a customer and/or worker in the coffee shop.

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Exercise Ex - Er - Cise Ex - Ar - Size.. Eggs Are Sides For bacon.. BACON

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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