What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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Why didn't Helen Keller learn to drive as a teenager? They didn't have cars back then.

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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why was the giraffes head so far away from his body? because he has a long neck

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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24

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No.

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being raped by your uncle

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A guy gets murdered, because of the Reco act the whole gang he belongs to goes to jail as well. They cry in their beds

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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An elderly man farts during Sunday morning mass. The children around him laugh and then their parents remind them to be respectful.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

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Knock knock. *Silence Knock knock *silence Knock knock *Silence KNOCK KNOCK. *Silence (Busts open door) Oh right I murdered Billy a week ago

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Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: Columbia

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding poo in your shoe.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

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A cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. Well, okay, it doesn't actually order it. It more of meows in a begging fashion and the bartender, being a kind individual, gets the lost animal a bowl of milk. But who's to argue semantics?

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An epileptic man attends a rave.

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Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

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Q: What do people usually find funny? A: A joke.

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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