How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A chinese man walks into a kitten store. He is a nice man in search of a companion.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

WHATS A GREAT RAVE TUNE KANE !!!!! TUCKER !!!!!!!! DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +24

“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

knock knock Dave's not here.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why didn't cancer cross the road? Because it was to busy taking my family.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: Guess what my Mom and Dad did last Night on the Kitchen Table.... A: Had Dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

did you know towels can cause dry skin?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Asians.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

so a salesman knocks on a mans' door and asks if he would like to hear a salespitch but the man didn't answer he came back two minutes later and knocked and asked if the man would be intrested in some girl scout cookies and the man tore the door off the hinges.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? He felt like crossing roads that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A duck, a rabbi, a homosexual, and the president walk into a bar. As a result, bruises appeared on their foreheads.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops