What is the cost of an abortion? 1 life

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you have when you take the gun, badge and uniform away from a cop? A man in his underwear.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Hi I am Michael Jackson... you have any young boys? My park is open :), the "nude dark caverns" can be scary, but I accompany them all, so relax. Moral: LEAVE MJ ALONE! ;(

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A tree falls over on an old woman. Mysteriously, the woman lifts the tree up and walks away. A man is amazed by this, so he goes and asks the woman how she managed to lift the whole tree. She tells the man that he is an idiot an walks away. Later inspecting the tree, he realizes it is a small sapling weighing no less than 10 pounds

thumb_up thumb_down -35

i just got pulled over by a cop. he asked me if i had been drinking, i said no. he asked me to step out of my car so he could look inside i looked nervous, and had no other choice to step out. he knew there was something in there he looked in and saw it THE REFRIDGERATOR

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life"

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Your mother is so poor that she has to rely on government sent cheques to sustain a basic lifestyle.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Do you want to hear a racist joke? I hate black people...

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

You know what happens when you assume right? Well, you make an educated guess based on prior knowledge to the circumstance at hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What is black, white, and red all over? A zebra that was shot by poachers.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did Edward Cullen say to the hot girl? Since I am a vampire it is impossible for me to get an erection.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the young boy fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

what do u call a kid with autism? a autistic s.o.b or Hennon bart

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Wanna hear a joke? Your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

baloney sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops