What do elephants and grapes have in common? They are both purple arpart from the elephant, which is grey. I lied about it being purple

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Knock knock. With the invention of doorbells, knocking has become almost obsolete.

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Why some people don't get the flu twice? Because they died!

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whats got two legs and cant walk a paraplegic

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What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

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Two pretzels were walking down the street when one got assaulted...

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

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Why did h little boy drop his ice cream? Jerry Sandusky was behind him.

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Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says wow its hot in here the other muffin said HOLY SHIT ITS A TALKING MUFFIN

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Hey man. what? squidbillies.

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what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

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Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

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What do you call somebody who votes for Donald Trump? A voter. What do you call somebody who votes for Hillary Clinton? A voter.

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What did the church say to the house? You need jesus

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whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy launched a flare. Nobody came.

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Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? Ones fun to jump on, the others just a trampoline.

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Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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