What did Sir Mix a lot say to the girl with a big butt? Your very beautiful.

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Why did the man look up into the sky? carrot cake

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THERE'S THE IDENTITY THIEF GET HIM!

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Q: What did the prostitute ask the officer? A: Where were you stationed? I have a lot of respect for our boys in the Middle East.

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"Hey hey hey, did you hear the joke about the guy with terminal cancer?" "No." "Sorry to break it to you then."

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Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Seeing as this situation is logically impossible considering that Adolf Hitler died in the year 1945 and Osama bin Laden was born in the year 1957, I would be in a room with just a black guy and two bullets. Then I would proceed not to shoot the black guy on the fact that I enjoy the talking and learning about cultural diversities between the black and white races.

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Nock nock Who's there K K who? You forgot the K

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A duck walks into the bar, buys a beer, steals your woman, wins a bar fight, pistol whips a police officer, departs and shouts Aflac

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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whats worse than a baby impaled on your lawn... the universe being consumed by a giant albino ape with over sized testicles

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Knock knock Who's there? Justin Bieber OH MY GOD REALLY?! No.

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Why could a fat man not do a barrel roll? He has already to many rolls.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Lance Armstrong gets on a bike

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a blonde girl walks into a bar...of soarp, slips, falls, and breaks her spine.

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what is the difference between a bucket of shit and a black person? the bucket the bucket

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What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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Q: GUESS WHAT IS REALLY BAD????? A: TITTY CANCER! :0

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Q: When you have alot of hair, what are you? A: Obease

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once upon a time a guy thought he wrote an original anti joke but it wasnt

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Do you know what Stevie Wonder's house looks like? No. Well, neither does he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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