A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

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chuck norris was shot yesterday... tomorrow is the bullets funeral.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in cirlcles? nail its hand to the floor

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Why was the dinosaur laughing so hard? He heard a very humorous joke

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Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

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A black person tans and starts to peel, what do you get? A white person.

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what would abraham lincoln do if he were alive today? scream and try to open his coffin.

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what did the aboriginal kid get for christmas? your bike.

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely I should proably go to the hospital

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What did lil' Bobby get for christmas? Cancer.

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What do you call a deer with only one leg? A one legged deer. What do you call a deer with one leg, one eye and lives in Rome? Still a one legged deer.

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What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

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A smart kid just answered a question in class, a blonde girl then says "Nerd, your always answering all the questions". The teacher then says "Hey thats not nice, he could be your boss one day." The smart kid quickly replies "Highly unlikely, i do not plan on being a pimp when i grow up".

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Is Charlie Sheen bi-polar? Yes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

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I'm gay Mr Goodwin

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What did Batman tell Robin when they got to Gotham City? -Robin, we got to Gotham City.

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What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

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How do you kill a dead baby? You can't, it's already dead.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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I like my women how i like my coffee. Without a penis.

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How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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1st person: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? 2nd person: I don't know 1st person: A Jew is a follower of the zionist faith and a pizza is a popular food invented in Italy and comes with your choice of several delicious toppings. 2nd person: But not all Jews follow zionism 1st person: Well some places restrict your choice of toppings. Whats your point?

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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops