Doctor Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains! Really? Well that's the least of your problems. Your test came up HIV positive.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened when the black woman moved to the front of the bus? There were no seats available but everyone was very nice about it. She also asked for gum. Somebody did have gum. Which was nice.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Shea's sty....

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

yo mama is so fat that a kid said to her ' The White Buddha Has Returned'

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar. There is no one there.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I may have Alzheimer's. But at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was jewish and saw a nickel on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened to the convict on death row? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened when Suzy fell off the swing? She hurt herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call two Japanese men digging through rubble? Worried family members of missing relatives due to the recent devastating tragedy in the island nation of Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you get an elephant in the fridge in three moves open the door, put it in, close the door How do you put an giraffe in the fridge in four moves open the door, take out the elephant, put the giraffe in, and close the door

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the baby cross the road i tied it to the back of a car

thumb_up thumb_down +1

69

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks in front of a bus. The bus driver avoids the man but hits the boy eating ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Trouble with the trolley, eh? No

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops