How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Washington say to his men before they got into the boat? Men, get in the boat!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What makes you hate life and feel good at the same time? A rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

jack and jill went up the hill to have a little fun. that dumb ass jill forgot the pill and now they have a son

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What has four legs but can't walk? A tranquilized bear

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man gets pushed in to a pole...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a gay jewish guy? Heblew.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

a man walked into a bar. the bartender asked why he was annoyed. he answered " people keep on telling this joke and I'm tired of the making me get drunk

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I saw a shooting star. It shot me.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What starts with D and ends with ICK? Drumstick.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

p

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A black man, a Pakistani and Jew sit at a bar. It's great to see such a cosmopolitan community.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "The police." "'The police', who?" "Sir, come out of your domicile with your hands up and no weapons present. You've just gone to an orphanage and massacred almost every nun who's worked there for almost five years. Not only that, but your son has also contracted AIDS from his previously lesbian girlfriend whom she has lost her mother too in the orphanage accident you've just caused."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats cold and can't climb trees? Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? About 144 licks but everyone gets different answers because we all lick lollipops differently.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

An airplane's engine suddenly blows up in the middle of its flight. The pilot turns around and sees a blonde and a brunette. He turns to his right and sees only two parachutes. The pilot says "Ok guys, only two-" Then the plane blows up.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What's 1 + 1? A: I don't know, I am an African who was bought up in the famine my mother died, my father starved. I have to sell myself to feed my sisters. I never went to school and drink my urine every second day because I have no water.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you have fun while stuck in traffic? Play bumper cars!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There are 5 men in a desert a black man a white man a gay a lesbian and a white woman they have no food or water and haven't had any in 3 weeks civilization is 1 mile away how many people live and which ones They all die you can only live 3 days without water.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

roses are red violets are pink your nanas in the cowfeild with a bottle of stink... not really shes long gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

we asked cheryl cole what she would do if it was the last day on earth she replied.. id probably spend all the time with my family. wrong cheryl youd spend your last day on earth running away from other people wanting to accomplish their last day on earth dreams

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops