What do you get if you cross a motorway with a lawnmower? Killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why was the old man on the ground he fell

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a paralyzed man on a fishing boat? Robert

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than having no coffee at the office? Looking out the window on the 100th floor and seeing the cockpit of a Boeing 767.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A Christian and an Atheist are sitting next to each other in a bar. C: Sad you don't believe in God, 'cuz you'll go to hell after your death. A:I don't believe in hell neither..

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the bones cross the street? They didn't. The dogs ate them.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

View Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what is orange and blue 2 colors

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Hey babe, do you like going to sleep without shoes on? Because most people find it more comforting to remove footwear in order to rest and relax peacefully during bedtime.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Great ideas: Go to your facebook account and type in: Man, I am gonna suicide right now, bye! Moral: Now if you do it as well, nah, dont do it, seriously... Just type it!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why do i love this website? Because it is funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between liberals and communists? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your dad is so hairy, that he shaves to look more cleanly.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You think I'm pretty without any makeup boy..... Let's bang.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Listen, I cannot as much as I would like, to take the full responsibility for every decision my former followers might decide to make of their own, we are no religion nor do we follow any kind of doctrines, we encourage freedom but also respect for our fellow human beings, all of them regardless of race or affiliation. But you let me know whoever has as much as looked at you the wrong way, and I will make sure they no longer find themselves welcome within my order, nor anywhere else if their actions merit the firm hands of justice.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the second monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops