knock knock whose there? i don't know...

Jims family is having a picnic. Jim goes and gets his food. shortly after he drops his food. Jim is really sad and goes and gets more food. Jim is black

Your life

Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

~Chinese Anti Joke~ What is the difference between American army and Chinese army? American army teach youngsters to use their tanks. Chinese army smash youngsters with their tanks.

-Your momma is so ugly, she wasnt a model. -Am I supposed to be caring?

hi mom

What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

Why didn't my marriage work out? Because I married a tangerine.

Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

"What starts with an 'F' and ends with 'uck'?" "I don't know, what?" "'Firetruck.'"

Roses are red. Violets are violet. Violet is a color already.

A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

who has less of a soul then you? a ginger

A blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who hits the ground first? The one that jumped first

-funny? women have rights -funnier? civil rights

What you do if you poo out a slug? Eat it.

You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

What's brown and white all over? Chad butthole

What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

So there was this cracker sitting on a bench. A pigeon picked it up and flew off. Probably ate it afterwards.

What do you call someone who doesn't have a soul? A ginger

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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