How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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A man lying in bed at night rolls over and starts rubbing his wife's back. She says, "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache." Her husband respected her wishes and went to sleep.

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why did the guy throw his clock out the window? because he wanted to see a clock fall out the window

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Stat1st1cs sh0w 0ne 1n f1ve pe0ple d0n't understand b1nary

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What did the guy say to the girl when she was on her knees? Stop playing with it put it in your mouth

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What do you get if you throw a banana at the wall? Nothing.

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Correctional officer asks an inmate. "Does your elevator go all the way up"? Inmate replied. I don't know we always use the stairs.

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How many Mexicans can you fit in a Smart car? None. It's too damn small!

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Whats 1+1? The answer!

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what is the worst thing a bout four black men driving a Cadillac off a cliff? they were my friends

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What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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What's worse than holocaust jokes? The Rwandam Genocide.

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why do we have school? 2 learn duh y r u even askin? ur STOOPIDE!

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When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

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theres this guy that i REALLY like but today he was putting something in my locker, it was gumbie the little green bendy thing but i didnt want it to be in my locker so i slammed my locker, except the only thing was that his pinky was in the way!!!! oh gosh i felt soooooo bad!!!! turns out he went to the hostpital and got stitches!!!!!!! that made it worse on me!!!!!! he said he was finee but i still cant let that go!!!!!

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I also wanted to write a joke but I forgot it so here I am. Minecraft rocks and everyone who says otherwise is a noob

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whats funnier then a joke on anit jokes pracitcally anything cause anti jokes repaeats and everyone has herd them

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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My favorite color is Ham. And I can count to Potato.

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A man is taking a shower in jail where he drops the soap. He proceeds to pick the soap up and cleans the rest of his body, puts his orange jumpsuit on and returns to his cell.

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Why didn't the Country club waiter enjoy iced tea? He's simply always had a preference for warm beverages. He assumes this goes back to his infant days when his mother would massage his belly with warm porridge.

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What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

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Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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