- Anti Joke

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

what is a mix of a bull dog and a shih tzu. a bread of dog that has a shaggy face and long hair

What do you get if you cross a football with Theo Walcott? A goal kick.

Q: Why was the man upset? A: He was kidnapped. Two cruel men tied him to a chair in an unknown location. This man was mistaken for someone who was planning to steal a big drug shipment. They beat him unmerciful, shocked him, and hit him in the head with a hammer, and threw him out in the street, with the belief of his death occurring. A driver stopped to help the man into the nearby hospital. The man was questioned about the physical appearance and whereabouts of these criminals. He remembered nothing, and sadly, they got away with this horrible crime.

The morning of her 16th birthday, April's parents presented her with a young racehorse named Bolt. Bolt was energetic and strong the first two days, easily trotting around their 4 acre estate, but the following morning, when April went out to bring Bolt his breakfast, she found him leaning on his stable, head down, slowly rolling side to side. Upon seeing her newfound friend in distress, she promptly asked, "Are you okay Bolt? Why the long face?" Soon after, April realized that she had made a clever pun and grinned childishly. April's glory was short lived however, when Bolt suddenly collapsed due to an aortic aneurysm. Having spent most of their retirement on this racehorse, April's parents sold the ranch and moved into a retirement home, disgracing their daughter for not taking care of their steed. April, believing herself to be the culprit for Bolt's death, later committed suicide.

In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

what's funny about war? nothing!

whats worse than having a gay friend ? 9/11

I love bacon therefor I love people who eat bacon execpt people who eat my bacon then I hate people who eat bacon

Pitbull is Mr. Worldwide because his music sucks everywhere in the world

''Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Ironically, many of the babies he'll kiss on the campaign trail will be his own.''

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

How do you send Harry Potter a post card? Get an owl to send it to his house.

What does a Somalian want for Christmas? Nothing hes Sunni Muslim and does not celebrate Christmas

what did the captcha say to the homo sapien? frTrewQui NiolismTU

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

I'm homeless.

Knock Knock Who's There? Peyton Peyton who? Peyton Manning

Q: What do the French call a quarter pounder with cheese? A: Le Royale with cheese

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The Big Bang. -BG_Shank_A

Jamie stegman liked doodle alot. Yummy he thought to himself as it entered his mouth.

What's more fun that being raped? Not being raped.

So the priest took the 6 year old boy into the confessional...and He told him to say 3 Hail Mary's.

Wanna hear a joke? Woman's rights.

What is the similarity between fake rings and your mother? They change colors in the shower