A duck walks into a doctor's office. Quack.

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So a guy comes into a bar... And he is cited for public indecency.

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Knock, knock who's there? Steve Evans. Steve Evans who? You've already forgotten me? We just met on Eharmony yesterday.

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Q:Why does poop stink? A: it comes from butts.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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A man and a women are having sex. He farted so she left before he came.

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What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

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Why did the black man kill his girlfriend? Because it was his mom!

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Here's a riddle... A cowboy rides into town on saturday, stays for three days, and leaves on saturday... How does he do it? Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... OH... I'M DONE NOW...

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What do you call a half man half manatee? A manatee

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your mommas so stupid she has trouble doing things an average person would manage easily

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Knock knock. Who's there? Screw! Screw who? Screw you.

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i want to meet Dora's parents and ask them why they let that bitch go everywhere

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Should a pole bump an alarm?

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Why did the woman pay $5,000 for a gallon of milk? She didn't. She paid $2.99.

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what is the difference between a bucket of shit and a black person? the bucket the bucket

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Lard and Liz lard,lard and Liz

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Why was the jew so happy? He won the lottery which at the time was 3.40 dollars

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

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Whoever said "don't start what you can't finish" hopefully didn't think about having kids Cuz that would be horror Get it?

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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