Steve Mullings isn't on drugs

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head on into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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What starts with Pu and ends with Y, And homosexuals tend not to like them. "Pushy" People.

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Q: Why is 8 afraid of 9? A:Because 9 killed 8's family

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

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sorry son your nanas been put down

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A young boy walks into a catholic church, he attends mass, and leaves.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Why did the man shoot himself? Because he already shot his wife.

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Well it depends how many of them can figure out the staircase.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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There is a really funny joke which can only be seen by smart people, it goes as such:

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yada yada

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how do you boil oil? add b to oil

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What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

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Why do so many Koreans go to medical school? Practicing medicine is a rewarding and respected career.

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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Why did the owl visit the hospital? His mom was dying of luekemia.

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Two bees are flying around a flower. "Hey," says one bee, "you ever think about the meaning of all of this? I mean, isn't there more to life than pollinating and satisfying the Queen?" The other bee replies, "No."

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What did the man order at KFC, in Miami? A face.

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Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete jumped out. Repeat was concerned-not only because his name was typically used as a verb and not something parents normally name a baby, but about why Pete would jump out of the boat? Pete wondered what to do next-should he jump in and see if Pete is okay? He also wondered if he should he change his name to Kevin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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