why didn't santa deliver any presents this christmas? Because he isn't real

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Why did the blind man walk into a shop He didin't walked into a wall

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whts worse than finding a worm in your apple? butt sex with the devil

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Just kidding, he didn't cross the road, he had no legs.

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Why did the man fall of his bicycle? Because someone threw a fridge at him

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What happens when you get your leg caught in an elevator door? Nothing. It is likely that the elevator has advanced sensory components that won't allow the door to close on your leg.

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Knock knock who's there? the police, your under arrest the police your under arrest who? BAM! sir, I'm placing you under arrest for the murder of your wife, anything you say or do can be used against you. IT WASN'T ME!!!! yeah yeah tell it the judge

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Roses are Red Violets are Purple But nothing rhymes with purple.

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your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

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How many British people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, and one to hold the flashlight because the room is probably dark.

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dry handjob

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What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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How many amish people does it take to screw in a light blub? None as the amish don't require artificial light

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Why did the black man get shot Cause someone shot him

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Q: What cant you give a black guy? A: Black eye, lips, and a jon

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What's black, white, and red all over? A dead panda.

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One time at band camp, I advanced my clarinet skill, which led me to have a good life.

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What is a gremlin? A gremlin.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't, he died in the middle of this task.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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