A dog walks into a bar, the bartender quickly says to its owner that he must leave as dogs are not allowed in. Upon realizing that it is a seeing eye dog, the bartender retracts his statement and serves the owner a drink.

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Q:Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A:Sea creatures seeking shelter and food

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Three construction workers are high up on a building when they decide to take their lunch break there. The three open their respective lunches, converse pleasantly, and enjoy the fine weather.

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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An american, a brit and a mexican are on a plane. The brit throws out a bag of tea, explaining to the confused others: "We have so much tea in England we can just throw it out!". The mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explaining "We have so much peppers in Mexico, we can just throw it out!". The american proceeds to throw the mexican out of the plane. "Why did you do that?!" exclaimed the brit. The american turned around. "He killed my wife."

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DON'T READ THIS!!! you suck.

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A dyslexic man walks into a building labeled, Bra. He then thinks he has found heaven but is suprised when all that is served is beer, not milk.

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roses are red violets are blue i just made you remember two girls one cup

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Two muffins were in the oven...They were taken out after about 40 minutes, and then enjoyed by all.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

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How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

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A black man walked out a window of a 20 story building a detective arives at the scene it was night time and he said wheres the body.

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What did the guy day to the other guy with an afro on his head? You look like a guy with an afro on his head.

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A black man and a white man were in a fight. Who won? I don't know. It was pay-per view and I didn't buy it.

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i dont know why but when ever i see jew they always say "whats up?"

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why did jonathan not get any presents for the holiday?because it was the 4th of July

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

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Help i have fallen and i cannont get up Life alert life alert To bad just sit there we dont care

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Q:What do you do when you see a talking raccoon A:Quit the LSD

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Knock knock! Who's there? ADHD ADHD wh-? SQUIRREL!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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