poop

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

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Roses are red, Your blood is too, Don't believe me? I WILL CUT YOU

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What's bigger than a horse ? An elephant.

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There was a two car pile up at wal-mart. 50 mexicans were killed.

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how do u kill a blonde: drop something shiny at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 2 blondes: but a mirror at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 3 blondes: ask which 1 of them is the prettiest and then wait 5 minuetes:)

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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Robert Muldoon: "Clever girl..." Velociraptor: "I appreciate your compliment, but I will still eat your face."

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Did the owl ever reach the middle of the tootsie pop? Yes. Dreams do come true

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How do you catch an elephant? Dig a nice deep hole in the ground, and fill it with ashes. Next, line the outside of the hole with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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. HAHAHAHA I have control of you I don't enjoy that picture.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

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Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

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Is your refridgerator running? because if its not, you should probably have it looked at by a repair man,

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roses are read, violets are blue. i have alzheimers and Jill came tumbling down.

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What did jonah say to your mum ... Nothing jonah is your mum

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Why is there air? To blow up basketballs

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Roses are Red Violets are Red Grass is Red Trees are Red My yard is on fire.

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yo mama so old that back in her school she didnt have history class

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What did the boy get for christmas? a new lining

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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