Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A German challenged an Englishman to a duel But their neigbours found out and alerted the police

thumb_up thumb_down +9

DAAAAAAAAMN! I AM BEHIND THE SQUARE WHEEL AGAIN! AND THAT SHIT IS POINTY! PRETENDING TO CARE IS SUCH A HASSLE! Anyway, I hope you know I was joking (otherwise you would totally be,not as smart as I thought) but yeah lets see, I am the fourth most pointless MAN, after "The square wheel", "My wife" (:)) I guess some guy just married the wrong wife huh?) And the the fucking wheel is a billion times more manly than Justin Bible or whatever you called that... Thing, and that wheel is made from a female tree! What? HAVE THE LAST COMMENT? I DO NOT GET HAVE! I GET TAKE BY FORCE! Well as far as comments and go, and sex of course.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

knock knock whos there rock rock who rocks dont knock stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Try this on your friend Have him start with "knock knock" Then blankly stare at him, if he asks you To reply tell him no one is home

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: what did the white man say to the black man? A: hi

thumb_up thumb_down +9

HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q:What's red and crawls up your leg? A: A homesick abortion

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

NO IT IS MINE! ALL MINE!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did lil' Bobby get for christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Women

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats long, orange, and comes out of brown stuff? -a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

So a woman walks out of a kitchen, she is instantly mauled by a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Paddy Englishmen, Paddy Irishmen and Paddy Scotsman walk into a bar. They realise that they all share a common name and make a casual joke about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did one prostitute say to the other prostitute? I'm dying of AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +9

if you don't like this you're gay

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do bicycles and platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops