-Why didn't a girl cry after she fell down with her bike? -Because a handlebar pinned her lung.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Chuck Norris and Bane recently had a fight on a bet. The result was Bane won easily as he is the much bigger and stronger man, and Chuck Norris lacks the skills he once possessed as a younger man as he is now 72 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the baby fall out of the crib? it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A black guy walks into a shop, takes a shirt, and then he pays for it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the low cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why do nascar drivers wreck Jeff gordon's bad racing Stupidity And kyle buschs great wrecking ability

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him "why the long face?" "All horses have long faces" he replied.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's moist wet and I put my finger in it? My nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red, violets are blue, you are my slave, get back to work!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you do if a black man throws a gernade at you? You take the pin out, and throw it back.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between you and a polar bear? I don't hate the polar bear

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the gay lifeguard tell the little boy at the pool? No running!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A jewish man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder, the bartender asks "where'd you get that" the man replied "at a pet shop"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

name one thing that is impossible!! A sober irishman

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red violets are blue or at least that's what they tell me because I am blind

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A child walks into a classroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A family goes to a talent agency and performs an act. They call themselves the aristocrats

thumb_up thumb_down -7

KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you make a fake baby cry -Put batteries in it. How do you make a real baby cry? -Put batteries in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops