Why can't the black person drown? He is very well trained at swimming.

What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

How did the hillbilly fix his PC? He brought it to Wal-Mart and got a diagnostics from an expert then installed anti virus software.

What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

How do you get Pikachu onto a bus? You ask him politely.

Q: What's white, is Mel Gibson, and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree? A: Mel Gibson.

What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

There are a fox and a chicken and the fox eats the chicken.

What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

Edward Smith had started telling a long rambling joke when William McMaster Murdoch cut him off with "I don't like where this is headed".

Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of it's legs.

Why did the girl fall off her bike? she got a fridge thrown at her

Why was the kid dizzy? He ran in a circle repeatedly.

What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

What does it mean when you have big shoes? Either you were genetically born with big feet, or you are wearing sheos that are too big for you.

What did Tom get for his 5th Birthday ? Nothing, he died when he was 2 years old

Two men walk into a bar...They are traveling together for a convention and like pub type bars and are excited to be there.

What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her." The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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