A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven. Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" "No," the man replies, "I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Yo mums so fat she went on a diet.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken. How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower. What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor? An erection. What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender? Hold on. I'll tell you in a second. What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan. -S

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Nothing. The deer was transported to a specialist animal hospital and now has two working eyes, eliminating the purpose of this joke. We apologise for wasting your time.

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Whats the difference between and ? Blue custard

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? a pizza does not have a heart

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What do you call 10 black people swimming down a current? A happy family

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What do you call five black guys surrounding one white guy who bosses them around? Whatever his name is.

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Somebody else besides you: what time is it? You: what time is what? SOmebody else: ? What?

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What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

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Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

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what's the difference between a jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your nuts with a jew.

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4 1/2

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what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

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whats big and green, andif it falls from a tree , it can kill you? a golfcourse

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What's worse than an explosion? A nuclear explosion.

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

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What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

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your friend: i did ur mom you: jokes on u my moms gross friend:.....

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why did the boy fall off his bike? someone threw a fridge at him

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Take part of what?

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Michael Jackson and Barack Obama talked to each other about oreos

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Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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