Why were accents created? So when people go to Texas they come back sounding like a D-Bag.

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How do u kill somebody You throw a fridge at him

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted ti get to to other side. why did the medic cross the road? beacause there was a seriously injured chiken on the side of the road, it had been hit by a fat man on a jog

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A man walks to a baseball game what does he see? Many people

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True or false , is it hotter in the summer or in the city? False, because blue monkeys don't eat orangutan bones.

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how many Ethiopians can you fit in a bathtub? all of them.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

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Why did the man sit down? Because he was tired of standing up.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

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What is little,red and its in the corner??? -strawberry in the corner

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I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

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What colour is chocolate? Brown.

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boobs.

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Face Hunter is scum

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What do you say to a disabled man in a lift? Have a nice day.

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Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

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Mom: Uncle toms coming home from the war Jimmy: What are we going to do Mom: Bury his coffin he hit a land mine .............. Jimmy: ^O^

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What did the blind kid that couldn't talk get for Christmas Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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