Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

thumb_up thumb_down +18

So I was walking down the road today

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I scream. You scream. We all scream. Because there is a rapist in the room.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Once upon a time in a far away kingdom, people lived in it. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You may notice something very odd about this paragraph. There is something strange although you can't figure it out. It is boggling your mind and keeping it from thinking of the real purpose of this paragraph. It is like an enigma in an enigma in an enigma in an enigma. Stop thinking hard and think inside Da Box. I just wasted your valuable time although it's not really valuable if your looking at this website.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's big, purple, and smells like children? Barney

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock Knock The doors already open

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you rescue a fat girl that's stuck under a car? With a pickaxe and a donkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats green and has wheels? a green tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red Violets are blue Some roses are white 72.4% of Americans are too

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +16

obama

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you say to a black guy on steroids? B!tch please

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why wasnt the baby cute? -because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC for his job interview

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you do when your condom breaks during sexual intercourse? Get AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops