Q How do you know when a gay walks into a bar A Albert rushes over and starts feeling him up

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i 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.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ME

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What is worst than 1 baby dead in a microwave? 2 babies dead in the same microwave !

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a horse is a horse. of course of course....unless its a cow

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Not from my wife if that is what you think, but its best people dont know who she is, because you know... A guy that gets many ladies = A playa. A girl that lets his guy do that, well, my wife feels safe about her husband (I am dead honest), but I cant expect people to suddenly go "oh yeah, his wife is totally cool and secure about it all, rather than an insecure idiot that allows him to sleep around like the dog he is) Strictly spoken, I am no dog, women say all men are pigs, but no woman settles for a boy, so that makes me a pig.

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y r black people noses so big??? A= god had to hold tem somehere to spray paint them

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to fix a lightbulb? Lets go ride bikes.

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How do you stop a car from crashing into a wall? -You can't, you are welcome to try, but please don't.

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How do you make a plumber mad? You tell him that his princess is in another castle about a thousand times over 25 years.

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Ruff, hi, ruff ruff, we are both dogs ruff ruff, ruff ruff, ruff!!

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

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Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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one day i went on a swing, somone pushed me and i fell broke my leg,cracked three ribs, cut my lip, fractured my toe and died of internal bleeding to my brain.

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whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

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Why didn't Suzie Fall off the Swings? She Has no legs and couldn't get on

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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People shouldnt make fun of holocaust jokes..my grandpa died cause of it! he fell off the gaurd tower

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

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what did the dog say to the mailman? woof.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? He woke up.

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wetly sucks dick just like teh boowb

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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