Why did Tiger look in the toilet? It doesn't matter, he didn't find anything.

What is the #1 cause of pedophiles? Sexy children

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf, any situation with her in the drivers seat of a car would have serious implications.

Lambos are red Tuxedos are Blue The cat is out of the bag Shit, we're all gonna die in helll

Why did the chicken cross the road? after approximately 10 seconds of looking back and forth left to right the chicken finally came to a realization that the road is clear and safe to cross.

Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

Q: What did the passengers think of thier Chineese bus driver? A: They were very pleased with the bus driver's service, for he was a very safe driver and got them to their destination on time.

A man walks into a bar, the other man ducks.

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

What is is one good thing about global Waming? Nothing.

If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she didn't have any arms

Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

WNBA

Why couldn't the boy talk? He drowned.

Why couldn't Timmy go to the bathroom? He was constipated.

So your a murder, and you show everyone your knife. what do you do, easy just chat with them.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

What do you call a car that doesn't work? Broken.

Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.

What did the homeless man say to the rich man? Can i have some food?

What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

say it ten times fast: oh

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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