Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.

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Have you ever tasted Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

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A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, Everything is gray, I'm a dog.

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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what do you call a cat that looks like a lion 7

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How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

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If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? A one-way ticket to Hell for messing with God's creations, you heathen!

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Q. whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A. A jew is a human of the jewish religion, and a pizza is food.

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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I like touching my boobs

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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Once upon a time, a duck named Jim went to work, he went up to the steps to his new job and and he was paid all day to sit in a hot tub. Little did he know it was a boiling pot and he was served at Christmas dinner

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What do you call a half-Latino, half-Asian baby? The product of a healthy interracial couple.

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Why did Bob fall over? He was impaled by a narwhal. -BG

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

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Weebles wobble, but paralyzed kids fall down.

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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