Why was six afraid of seven? Seven drove two planes into the world trade center.

Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but Im on bath salts, and you're face looks tasty;)

How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt, its just a myth

Knock knock Who's there? The Land Lord The Land Lord who? I am here to evict you.

When life gives you lemons you have lemons.

What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

Q: What do you call cheese that's not your own? A: Someone else's cheese

What's the best part of twenty one year old's? Their bodies have matured enough that the U.S. government deems it safe for them to consume alcoholic beverages with proper I.D.

Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

Who has lots of friends, but smells like urinate feceas? Smelly McD, I lied about the friends.

who looks like justin bieber and is really cool? george darling but i lied about him being cool.

Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

Knock Knock Who's There? Steve Steve who? Your friend Steve, you called and told me to come over. Oh, come in.

What's green and would kill you if it fell on you? A golf course

Why did the chicken cross the road? Due to a lack of awareness of its surrounding, it died attempting to cross the road.

Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

Two men walk into a bar. You would think the second man would have seen it. Made by Bobbie Pummel

what tall and looks like a jew?

Henry was struck by a train. He was mourned by his parents.

what is Stephen Hawking's condom brand called? Anti-Virus

What did the giraffe say to the walrus? Nothing. Giraffes can't talk. What did the Scotsman say to the walrus? Nothing. Scotsmen can't talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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