- Anti Joke

Once upon a time there was a man sleeping, Then he woke up.

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? hit him in the head with an axe

Why couldn't the blonde make ice cubes? Because recently she has been missing payments on the elictric bill because of economic hardships.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

What do you call most people over 50 who aren't married. Divorced

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken so he could fry it.

Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The three of them discuss theology for quite some time and then begin approach various patrons with invites to attend their respective Sunday services.

What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

Q: What would happen if you threw a red brick into the black sea? A: It would get wet.

Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

whitney housten was supposed to sing at my funeral... but i dont think thats gonna happen. ;(

There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

why did the clown fall off the swing because he got shot in the face

What's big, purple, and smells like children? Barney

What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

How do you rescue a fat girl that's stuck under a car? With a pickaxe and a donkey.

Q: what do you call a man eating some chicken ? A: a hungry man (hahahahahahaha.......i should get a life)

whats green and has wheels? a green tractor.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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