They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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A Black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black guy. Its his car.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.....

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What's black, white & red all over? A cow in a slaughter house.

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What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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All of the people in the burning building escaped except for one what was wrong with that one person? He was a blind, could not hear and was in a wheelchair.

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Whats long,hard, and has c.u.m in ig? Cucumber....also my wiener

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Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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Q: What does a gay horse eat? A: Cheese

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roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

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were did the gay guy go nowere because it was raining outside

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Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is an overused joke on a kid's cartoon. Thank me later.

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-"Hey! You guys wanna hear a joke" -"What?" -"Womens Rights"

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Whats white and sticky? Marshmellows

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Breaking news! An 18 wheeler has gone loose and hit a playground damaging a swing, 1 fatality and 16 children injured 5 in critical condition

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How do you kill a blonde? Pull the pin and throw it back...then proceed to paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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What do watermelons taste like? Sand.

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What do you get when you cross an Indian and a duck? An Indian duck.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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