Whats worse than tripping? Getting shot

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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Why did the semen cross the road? Because i put on the wrong socks this morning

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Anal.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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what do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a spaceship? a dinosaur spaceship

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Roses are red Violets are violet Jesus Christ how dumb can you get.

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Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

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A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

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An Irishman walks into a bar.....Duh.

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When life gives you carrots, don't make carrot juice, because it's gross.

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What do you get when you put Star Wars and Disney together? A Bad Sequel

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Q: why did suzie fall out of the swing? A: because she was a pinecone

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Why did the blonde do at the WTC on 9/11? Die.

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A man walks into a bar. Cool story, bro.

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My dads so gay he has sex with other men for fun.

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Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

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what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why was the woman arrested for trying to have sex with a miner? Because he was on the job and her advances were completely unwanted.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? A: I'm sorry. I was raised in an abusive home and I never learned how to properly express my emotions. I'm going to seek professional counseling but in the meantime we should end our relationship for your safety.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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What would you get when you cross a bear and a shark? a highly improbable situation because sharks and bears live completely different environments.

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you dint have to be a jew matt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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