A man and his wife are sitting on the couch in their house, watching tv. The man says, "Do you smell smoke?" The woman then replies, "No." They then proceed to watch more tv.

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What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: So it could get hit by a car, to prove that chickens have free will, and have every right to cross a road without any particualar reason.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? William. William who? You friend...William...you invited me over.. Can I come in?

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Q: How do you break into your own house? A:You don't....thats ridiculous(:

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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There was an american man on the way to work.

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What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

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Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

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Q. What's better then a baby in a microwave? A. What the hell is wrong with you? Did your parents not love you enough when you were born? Everything is worse then a baby in a microwave! Besides the felony charges it is extremely wrong! Your going to hell.

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What has 4 black legs, a green back, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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So a man walks into a bar, right?

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Knock knock. Why are you saying that, you should actually knock the door. Oh ok.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a prison. They're stopped by a gang. Hey, want to play a game? They answer "No thanks, we died in the last joke."

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whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

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rabbits running in my bathroom!

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Here's a joke The Holocaust.

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had Leukemia

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What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

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Q: What happened to the man who died? A: Nothing, there is no afterlife.

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roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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