If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is plastic and dangerous to children. The other holds groceries.

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You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon.

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Whats worse than being a jew? Having all of your friends viciously murdered at a party that you weren't invited to.

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Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

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Two guys walk into a bar. This is really exciting as they haven't seen each other for two years and are looking forward to catching up.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he accidently dropped it.

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i like my coffee like i like my women ... with big titis

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender!

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Wanna hear a joke? Your contact list.

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What to hear an anti-joke? No.

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Once Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a guy so hard that he got a large bruise.

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An irishman walks into a bar and stays there until he goes home.

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A man is driving and hits a woman. Who's fault is it? The man's: pedestrians always have the right of way.

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Why does Michael J. Fox have a good handshake? He has a firm grip

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Your mum is so fat, she is likely to do die before my mum.

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My uncle Magnus and my Aunty Agnus had a baby and named it.............Death.

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If a plane crashes on the boarder of Canada and The U.S.A- Where would they burry the survivors.

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What happens when your school teacher gives you homework over the break? You give your teacher homework too!

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What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled I've cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

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If life gives you lemons, keep them because hey, free lemons

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Why did the frog cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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HEYEEYAHEYAYYAEEAHHAAA

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops