What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You take it!

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What do you call a moving tree? A hurricane killing thousands of people and 3 dogs.

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Nothing if you heard a loud sound or something that was me dropping the phone, by accident, its busted, I will call you when and if all of your "facts" turn out to be true, Hey, had no idea my doppelganger would be so down to earth by the way, so I am sleepy, what about you?

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A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

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What did the black man do when his Polish friend died of cancer? He fertilized his front lawn as it was beginning to burn due to overexposure of the sun.

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what duz 69 mean? its a number duhhhhhhh

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Why did the submarine crash? Someone opened the window

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What did the goat say to the zebra? Nothing. Goats can't speak

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you were observing it, thus changing its quantum state and making it decide to cross.

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How did the blind man escape the mugger? He ran into a bus.

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What do you call a woman outside of the kitchen? Out of place.

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Whats black and white and says moo? A Dalmatian retriever with a voice box.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? You wouldn't be able to count them if it were dark.

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Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

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What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm a bitch and so are u????????

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Say this really fast. Ice Bank Mice Elf It'll take a while for dumbasses to understand.

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Why was the boy running There was a giraffe chasing him

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Why didn't the man say, "Hello, Morgan Freeman!" when his friend walked by? Because his friend wasn't Morgan Freeman.

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Ring Ring! Hello? Hello, is your refrigerator running? Yes it is Good.

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My friend thinks he's smart, He said that onions are the only food that make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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