What has two legs and two arms? A Human

What's black and fast? A treadmill.

Why did Rosie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus...

Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Wii and was satisfied with her purchase

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

no really what are ur names?

what do you call a rich, gay guy from Florida? Iron man

roses are red. vilets are blue. I'm getting hungry. make me some food...bitch.

Why doesn't my mom make dinner anymore? she died in a fire on my birthday.

i like my coffee like i like my women... Without a penis

What's wanted by none, wanted by one, and is worse than Terran Hansen? Brooke Colbert. Go you Jesse.

Why did the drunk man puke? Because he was drunk.

Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? He was busy

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The chicken"

Why did Johnny fall of the Swing?? Because i hit him with a shovel

What did the zombie say to the woman? I like turtles.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it doesn't have the capacity for rational thought and decision-making and was subsequently hit by a car.

Roses are gray, violets are gray. I'm color blind.

Knock Knock Whos there? Your neighbor.

How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

Roses are red Violets are blue Urine is yellowish and shit is usually brown... That's it, I was just remembering the colors of some stuffs

What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

Why didn't the woman need a watch? Because she had both her hands amputated after battling diabetes.

What is a light shade of beige? My bedroom wall.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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