- Anti Joke

What did the black guy say to the white guy running off the cliff? Watch out! You're running off a cliff!

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a donkey

What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A godless abomination that violates every ethical standard known to man.

A teacher tells one of her students, "If I say 'I am beautiful', which tense is that?" The student tells her, "Didn't your mother ever tell you that lying is bad?"

Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

Knock knock. Get out!!

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

What did Pablo experience during his first day in private school? the atmosphere of a private school

Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

How did the blind dyslexic boy find his way out of the cornfield? -He drew backwords numbers and letters in the dirt

How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

Yo mama so stupid that when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead

A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar and have a friendly argument over their religious beliefs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Whats the quickest way to get famous? kill the president

Why was the homeless man lying on the floor? Because he was dead

What do you call a man running away from the bus? A man

What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

They say you are what you eat, but i don't remember eating a big bowl of sexy.

A man walked into a bar making it immediately apparent that he had no future in competitive limbo.

Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

*puts thumbs up on own anti-joke. Nobody needs to know....