Your mom is so ugly that she had self-esteem problems and severe depression as a teenager due to merciless bullying due to her looks, however she overcame this, found a man who loved her for who she was, and then married him. She now lives a happy life.

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How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

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Why was little Timmy so fast? Because he's tied up in the trunk of a speeding car.

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

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what's worse than a dead baby? a pile of dead babies. what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath? the live one has to eat it's way out. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out? more dead babies dumped on the already existing pile. what's worse than the giant pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out, but there are more dead babies piled on top? this is all in your basement.

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how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

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what do get when you throw a penny in between a jew and a mexican? nothing besides one less penny

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-Will you follow the live coverage of 86th Acacemy Awards? -No. -Are you anti-semitic?

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Q: how many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: two, one to hold the ladder securely and the other to screw in the lightbulb.

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Whats Brown and fluffy ASIAN TITS

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Depending on the amount of saliva you produce each lick the answer to this question varies species to species.

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PS: Call me a monster, The Devil, a Psychopath, but know this... For those of you that decide to become my pray by not choosing the right side... ...I have far since surpassed any state of fear, of evil, of darkness that you can think off... What you call fear and suffer now, is but mere entertainment for me, and in not too long, you shall remember those deepest horrors which you carry, as the last pleasure you remembered. Moral: Stand by my side those of you which desire to become the children of darkness, and I shall show you pleasure and love, for those that reject pleasure and love, are, and shall moreso become those which we hunt for whichever deprived desire that lies in the soul, in the name of love and respect for their lack of desire for love of course, as no desire for love, is to embrace the eternal desire of fear, as your heavenly father used to say, "surrender to darkness and fear" It wont be a choice soon, its not as if you humans ever where in control of your fears and nightmares. Amen? That only means let it happen... I will make it so. SOLVE media: Down the rabbit hole, coincidence you say... If this world experiences "coincidences", IT IS BECAUSE I MAKE THEM HAPPEN ON PURPOSE.

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knock knock whos their a person

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Ol-ive

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why did the chicken cross the road? the sudden lack of sidewalk dictated as such.

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Yo' momma is so fat, that- Wait. Sorry. Too far?

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Your moms so stupid that she called me to get my number

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what did sushi A say to sushi B? Nothing, because sushi is composed of aboitic fish, rice and other nutritious components and cannot speak

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A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

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Whats the difference between a lamp and Morgan Freeman? Alot

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Your mother is so ugly that I removed her from my friends list on Facebook.

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roses are red violets are blue your friend is a scumbag and so are you

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Why did the airplane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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