What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate your mom.

2 penguins in a tub. one looks to the other an says, "pass the bar of soap." the other looks at him.."what do you think i am, a typewriter?"

What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

What? Chicken butt Why? Chicken thigh Who? Deez nuts

Q: why was the cat naked? A: its owner was drunk and thought he was shaving his own head.

How do you make a clown happy then sad? You give him pot then shoot him in the foot

Your mama's so fat, she cries daily and regularly questions her purpose in life.

your mother is in alkatraz as she was sentenced to 25 to life due to false accusations

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

What do you call a black person living in the US? An African American.

I think everybody should have a penis.

wow i bet grass is lucky on st patricks day. why? becuase its green all year. *smacks* ow. i kno. but hey im corn.

wanna here a joke? you.

Why did the boy drop the ice cream? So that it would melt and he could dip his dick into it and his mom could lick it off.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit halfway by a car.

Why did the homeless man steal food from the local grocery store? He had not eaten in three days and was forced to steal or risk possible starvation.

Doctor Doctor! I think i'm epileptic! I'm not the Doctor, I'm the receptionist. You're a hypochondriac, now wait in the Que, like everybody else Mrs. Davis.

Erron who the hell are you? How many people are you going to use before you finish whatever the fuck is on your agenda?

Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

A Chinese man, an Italian man and a French man are sitting in a plane. They arrive in Los Angeles with a 23 minute delay due to atmospheric conditions

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, and they don't have to be blonde, anyone can screw in a light bulb.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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