Why did the mother get upset with her son? Because he sexually experimented with his cousin.

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How do you enter a gas station? Through the front door

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why did the man paint his house? cause he never wanted to mow the lawn

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How did the two friends cross the busy road? They couldn't, because that would be considered jay-walking

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Two guys are walking on a bridge. One has long hair. The other does not care.

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A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

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Why did the Elf stab the Gnome? Because I was on a bad acid trip.

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What did the guy day to the other guy with an afro on his head? You look like a guy with an afro on his head.

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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Moral

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why did the man take a poo because his rectum exploded

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Who was the best Call of Duty World at War Player? A: Hitler he had 6 million kills and only 1 death

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Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

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Why did the girl get run over by a bus? The bus driver was blind.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? No. Trees don't jump

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Why couldn't the dinosaur sing? Because dinosaurs are extinct

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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What do you do when a sing is stuck inside your head? Put a gun to your head, and shoot the song to death. It will work. Trust me. Youll never hear the song again. Or anything again.

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One day a married couple have a conversation. The husband says, "Make me a sandwich." The wife says, "Okay, what do you want on it?"

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How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

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An automobile mechanic busted an engine fuse. A prostitute had oral sex with a Marine. An Inuit hunter detonated a sea mammal with TNT. What do they all have in common? They all blew a seal.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why didn't Superman save anyone on September 11? He was in a wheelchair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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