Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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Hey babe, are you a refrigerator? -No... Good--'cause I wanna f*ck you so hard. Best pickup line. Always works.

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A man walks into a vagina. The man, expecting a holiday inn, is very confused, and later gets mauled by five bears, who mistook his scent for a fish.

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An Asian with a big dick.

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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Why did the boy jump off the building? To get to the bottom.

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Why did the two blondes decide to ride in one car? Because it's more environmentally friendly than taking two cars.

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What is worse-losing your phone or failing school? Apartheid

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How do black people vote? They go to their polling place, register, then vote for their candidate on election day.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because 7, 8, 9

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Whats worse than finding an actual joke on anti-jokes? A.I.D.S.

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Yo momma so ugly that she is unpleasant to look at

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Q: What do you call a drunk man driving a Corvette with no arms, no legs and a missing eye? A: A severely impaired driver

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What do you get when you fall in love? A guy with a pin to burst your bubble.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a shovel? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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Roses are blue Violets are red This isn't humor The Hell's wrong with you?

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What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

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Why was the chicken afaid to cross the road? because there was no road.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, as I wasn't there, and frankly I wonder why a chicken was anywhere near a road anyway

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a mexican man with a rubber toe? Ruberto.

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Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

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Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? One is a devotee of the torah, one is a delicious meal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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