Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

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How do you make Bill Gates poor? You take all of his money

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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You know whats funny? Matty Broom.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? a horse

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Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Ethiopian food.

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Q. Why was the boy depressed? A. Because he lives in a world where apparently all girls are right.

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What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

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What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves.

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Why did the semen cross the road? Because i put on the wrong socks this morning

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Who should you call when your dad overdoses on Viagra. Child Support

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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A momma tomato and a baby tomato are walking down the street, and the baby tomato starts to fall behind. The mother turns to it and says "hurry up."

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Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I'm allergic to peanuts. DAMIT

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Hitler and Jews become friends.

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Why did the girl kill herself? Because she was brutally raped

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Who has fair skin, blonde hair and is African? Stefan.

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Why did the black guy get hit by a banana He was low on potassium and his friend threw the banana too hard

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An obese man walked into McDonalds and ordered 6 Big Macs. He proceeded to walk to a booth in the back corner and eat them all. Turns out he was white.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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