A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

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What happened to the teenager who was raped and murdered? Who knows? They never found the body.

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What do you call a cat up a tree in a party hat? A cat up a tree with a party hat

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A Jew walks into an expensive Hotel and orders 500 dollars worth of wine.

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What is the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same!

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How did the young boy cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't, he died in the middle of this task.

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There are 5 men in a desert a black man a white man a gay a lesbian and a white woman they have no food or water and haven't had any in 3 weeks civilization is 1 mile away how many people live and which ones They all die you can only live 3 days without water.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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Why did Lisa spill her drink? Her plane crashed.

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Q; What feels like plastic and tastes fake? A: School Food

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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When life gives you lemons, sell them. Rejoice in your free money.

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How do you get 2x1=4? Do the wrong math.

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What's Kanye West's goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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What worse than finding crap on the road? Tripping over and landing on it.

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I take my cleats off when I jump on trampolines

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Billy: Hey Timmy, you're so fat your high school picture was an aerial photograph Timmy: Oh yeah? Well you're so fat when you tried to take that photograph the helicopter pilot told you to get out because you're too fat

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Why did the tight shirted Asian man spend all his time on his knees? Because when he was 12 he was forced to work in a textile factory where he lost his lower legs.

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Whats worse than one jew. Ben rike

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The foreskin of a baby gorilla

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What's red and smells like blue paint? red paint

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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