How do you stop a lawn mower? You throw a baby under it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

wanna hear a joke? womans rights

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Chris Bosh's neck

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't the black man support his family? He was the youngest child of 3 and already had a caring and supporting mother and father.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

no really what are ur names?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats funny about a kid with down syndrome q: a lot of things, like his face

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Wat do u call a priests shit Holy shit

thumb_up thumb_down +2

69

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely for no discernible reason as chickens are animals with poor reasoning skills.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the car fall of the cliff? The dude driving the car was driving recklessly.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how do you punish hellen keller? you can't she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did chad do when he found the grape? He ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: I got NoEyeDeer!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your a bus driver, at the first stop, 4 people get on. At the second stop, 2 people get off. At the third stop, 7 people get off. At the fourth stop, everyone gets off. What is the bus drivers name?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q:Why did the Mexican cross the border? A:To come to America to provide for his starving family.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between Josef fritsal and a fridge? A fridge can be thrown at a bowl of custard.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo mamma is SO fat, she is classified as fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What do you call a dad running down a hill? A: A mom running down a hill, I lied about the dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was butchered on the farm for chicken fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops