Roses are red. Violets are blue... Hold on. Roses could be white too.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

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A doctor rides in his Mercedes Benz through a rough, poor part of town. He sees a homeless person who is begging for money. The doctor stops and gets out of his car and asks "Ill give you some money if you need it for food". The homeless person then shoots and kills the doctor, takes his wallet, and buys crack.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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A: what does hellen keller say to her mom? B: nothing. she cant speak due to her lack of hearing and visualizing

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

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A man walked in to a bar, he ordered a few drinks, met some new friends and had a good laugh with them. Later that night, he got in his car and drove home, which was foolish, as he should have known that being under the influence of alcohol increases the percentage of a collision, which could take his life and the lives of others. He arrived home just fine and got in to bed with his wife who was happy to see him.

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A retarded man speaks jibberish, because he is retarded

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To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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A man walks into a bar, asks for a drink. He then realises that it was a metal bar and not one that serves alcoholic beverages. He then ponders the mysteries of the world and the universe.

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Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: Because he was shot in the face

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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In Soviet Russia You drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up

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A racist walks into a bar. Nasty accident you had there mate. You should be more careful next time.

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If Oscar Meyer had a dog, what breed would it be? A golden retriever.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? We are, now open the door! Wait im masturbating!!

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why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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